Mixed Emotion

Today, I am not feeling good a lot of things happen in just single hours. I feel sad and I feel bad. Sigh! Honestly, it’s not my intention to hurt feelings of others. But unfortunately, I made their heart broken because of what I did which really hated myself. I am so stupid doing that kind of stuff!

(1) Hurting our mother, for me, is not really good. It’s a big sin. After all the care sasaktan mo lang siya, napakasama mong anak. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Nagawa kong saktan ang damdamin ng aking pinakamamahal na Ina (my mother) I hurt her feelings. I made her cry. I am feeling bad for what I’ve done to her. I felt sad anyway. Before, ayaw kong makita na umiiyak siya because of my two elder brother but now ako ang nagpapaiyak sa kanya. It’s really hurt for me. I don’t intend to hurt her feelings. I was shocked when I said something that made her cry. Damn Mark! You’re such a bad boy, Mark!

Kaya naman, I made a poem and dedicated it to my mother. I am sorry, Ma! And I’m glad that my mother and I were ok now. Thanks!

(2) After that, I thought everything is going well. But I was wrong. I made a mistake yesterday and it is not my intention that hurting (again?) someone’s heart. Sigh! I can’t sleep last night because of what I’ve done. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil I did something that makes someones feel uncomfortable or even sad. Hindi ako nag-iisip na may masasaktan pala ako sa ginawa ko, which I hate myself. I am taking care of someone’s feelings but what I did was… Sigh! Now, I realize that pag gumawa ka ng isang bagay or even posting here in blogosphere you must to think it not just once but twice. Kasi may mga taong nagiging sensitive of the things that they saw on your site, write-ups or something like that.

For me, natuwa lang ako sa mga t-shirts na may mga statement like; “ako ang nagsaing pero iba ang kumain kasi diet ako!” something like that. I won’t post the picture (tshirt yon na may printed na kakaiba...ahh basta ayoko ng ipost) here anymore that made them disappointed. It’s something na ikakatuwa sa mga mata ng iba and also it is not good in the eyes of others, too! And that is why I am so sad of being insensitive about it. I hurt someone’s heart and I was so depress about it. I will just hope that it will be fine today or else it makes me feel sad all day.

I am sorry for being insensitive.
I am sorry for being immature.
I am sorry for hurting you.
I am sorry for disappointing you.
I hope you will accept my sorry.

Sorry guys, umaatake na naman ang pagka-emotero ko. Sina pareng PAJAY at AMOR kasi e nahawa tuloy ako…at teka si DHIANZ din pala... Hehehe sisihin ba sila? PEACE!!! Mixed emotion ang nararamdaman ko sa kasalukuyan ayaw ko na muna sanang mag-emo post but I am here writing and expressing what I feel inside I am hurt also for what I’ve done lately. I feel like a bomb na sasabog makalipas ang ilang segundo. Wala akong pagbuhusan ng nararamdaman so I decided to go to my own world (huh? may sariling mundo ba ako?) pero ganon pa rin ang nararamdaman ko. Kaya dito ko na lang binuhos kung anuman ang feelings ko ngayon. Parang gusto ko nang maniwala na ang lahat ng saya na pinagdaanan ko lately ay may kapalit. At ito nga yon siguro ang kapalit...ang maging malungkot! Sigh!

God help me!

-MarcoPaolo-